I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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