I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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