I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
