I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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