So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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