you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Your penis caused this!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
