If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Still dying that you shit outside
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
