I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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