i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
