If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My feet surprised me
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