HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
