Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
