I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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