Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
