3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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