Whod you bang
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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