She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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