So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
