watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
