i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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