oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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