That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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