I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
