Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
