i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
