Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
