this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
