Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
