im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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