He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
