GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
