i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Life is so much better after having sex.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My legs feel like baby dolphins
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize