Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
