would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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