Where are you?
In a non slutty way
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
