escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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