so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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