Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm having to shit out rocks
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