smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
