the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
