he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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