there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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