all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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