So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
