I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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