I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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