i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
