He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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