idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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