Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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