Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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