spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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