Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
