Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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