I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
