I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My vagina just recognized that song.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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