I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
