he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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