I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
