According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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